Failure…….What does it mean for you?

Is Failure a Choice?

Failure! This seems to be a word that most people run and hide from. The mere mention of this word in a conversation can raise the hairs on the back of the neck and send many a good person into a panic or a barrage of derision. Its a word I once feared and dare not mention. It carried a great deal of emotion and it is a word that I was taught to fear. We don’t fail around here we merely make mistakes. Well aren’t they the same thing? A mistake as defined by etymonline is a ‘wandering from the truth” or “a false judgement or choice”. Sounds the same. So at what point does a failure become a mere mistake? Because if you don’t succeed at some point you have failed to make a sound choice. So how can you turn a “false judgement or choice” from failure into success?  describes failure as “to be lacking or not succeed”. Sounds pretty reasonable. If you set out to achieve something and you don’t well you have not succeeded in your chosen objective, straight forward enough. It also sounds a lot like a mistake. So why when you tell someone that you have failed to achieve something is there this stigma attached? Because what your really saying when you proclaim you’ve failed is that you have wandered from the truth of a given situation and not made a sound choice and the end result is a lack of success.  The reason I bring this up is quite personal and something that I have struggled with and struggled to accept for sometime, until now!

It appears to me that we live in a world where success is the key yard stick and where it’s all at. We parade our heroes for all to see and we put them upon pedestals and tell all and sundry that this is what it means to be a successful human. Greatness and a desire to win and be the best no matter what is the goal and it is played out every minute in the media in all its gory detail, no matter what the field. From politics to sport all the way down to the advertising for food or material possessions, its how our society drives itself to be better than the last. We never see the failures and it is never spoken about. We never see the obese people who consumed the food of champions or the unhappy punter who lost it all at the races. The only time we see a failure in the media is the fallen sports star or celebrity who made a poor choice/mistake, purely because it gets ratings and generates sales. What they did is human. What they did was wander from the truth, and make a false judgement or a poor choice. What is so wrong with that? Isn’t it a human condition to fail before you can appreciate success?  To be great you need to learn how to handle failure. And to appreciate the flavour of success you need to taste failure.

I’ve lived in this world long enough now to know that to be a success you must have failed at some point. I have yet to meet anyone who was an instant success or who hadn’t failed before they succeeded. Failure is where the true growth and learning come from. If you fail at your given task, you review it. See what didn’t work and try again with the new knowledge gained and make your attempt to succeed again. Or as Chris Ryan one of my favorite pod-caster states “If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success”. Don’t dwell upon the failure, learn from it and redefine what it is your attempting to succeed at. So when I failed massively at my chosen venture, I looked at it not as a failure. I seen it more of an opportunity to learn something that I’d never known or never been able to learn if failure wasn’t an option on the table. From that new knowledge I redefined what success actually meant to me and for me. Failure lost its grip on my emotional state and showed me its valuable lesson. An expensive, draining lesson, albeit a lesson in life nonetheless.

Which then brings me to the world around me and the other humans that inhabit it. Some of them don’t get it. To them you JUST DON’T FAIL! It is viewed as some heinous crime that isn’t spoken about, or we cover it up so the neighbors don’t hear about it. People are great at passing on their point of view of where you went wrong. You didn’t try hard enough. You should put more hours or money into it. You should just keep going and pushing until it succeeds. All great points of view from outsiders and all things that we have all used with varying degrees of success although ultimately the end result can still be the same. It is very easy to stand in judgement of others and have your point of view, it is much harder to stand beside them and with them in the mess that is their failure and to not pass on your judgement or your point of view and to be with them in it. It’s uncomfortable! That’s why it is hard. Where the real growth lies is admitting to yourself that you actually failed, you didn’t cease to be by accepting the result. Your not a lessor person because of it, you are more than before. So by not continuing,  irrelevant of what the people around you say you should do you have actually succeeded because only you know what is right for you. And this life is only about you and your choices. Then by picking up the pieces and redefining the measurement of success as it means to you. And proceeding forward with new knowledge and information to create your reality that is constantly in-formation.

So next time someone tells you your a failure. Smile at them and say thank you for their point of view, however I’m learning new skills and am currently in-formation of new ways to succeed in my reality. And carry on being the best version of yourself that you can currently be! And if you can’t smile at that maybe this picture may make your day.

Tree Pixie

The smiling Bramston Beach pixie


Nature is to Nurture

Early Life

Found these little dudes whilst out riding

The beautiful thing about nature and walking amongst it with all your senses wide open is you never know what little gems you might come across. Earlier this week I was walking along the river and noticed a nest on a low branch of a Fig tree. Gently pulling down the branch revealed this delicate, innocent and totally vulnerable pair of baby chicks. I don’t profess to be some expert on nature so I’m not able to name them, however I am able to totally appreciate the delicate balance that is life within the natural order of the world. Along with a massive dose of gratitude for being able to peer in to this private little world, I captured my photo and moved along to allow them the peace they deserve.

It got me thinking a great deal though on how we all start out in the same way. Now i’m not saying we are all born in trees and hatch out of eggs, maybe some of you did but i was told I wasn’t delivered in that fashion (mine was a stork delivery). I was however like all of us that vulnerable, innocent and totally reliant upon a responsible adult to care for me and raise me so that one day I might be able to leap out of the nest and fly all on my own. The question is  have we flown on our own natural instincts  as we know these birds will do one day, or are we flying according to someone else’s desires?

Looking at the birds they are totally unaware of their environment and require their parents to protect them and supply a steady amount of food. We think that’s all there is too it and when they are ready their parents push them out and they start flapping and hopefully fly before getting anywhere near the ground, and Shazzam! we have a bird that just knows what to do to be a bird. And that’s nature, no need for nurture, the animal world is a dark and cruel place where only the strongest survive. In my humble opinion that last sentence only applies to the human world. The animal kingdom has an inbuilt nurturing and knowing that all will be how it is meant to be and its that simple. That little bird will simply KNOW! what is required and will embody it.

Us humans have a similar experience. As infants we are totally unaware of anything other than food, warmth and our parents. Then we grow and expand our awareness of the world around us. We slowly over many years stretch out into that world until at some point we leap out of the nest and be human. How many of us know what it is that our human nature needs us to be let alone be human? The baby chick knows innately what is required. They fly, balance and collect food to survive. How do we humans, know what to do or be? Or are we shown what someone else wants us to be?

Our parents generally want us to do or be something that they weren’t able to do or be or to live up to some weird ideal of being “proper”. Proper according to what measuring stick?  Society has its hand in the ideals of being a human. It lays its imprint into us through schooling, TV, radio, internet, advertising, marketing as well as our peers and the economic pedigree we are born into. So as a result how much of our present day reality is made up of these ideals, morals and imprints? How much of it do we just follow along because “that’s what we’ve always done around here”? How much of it is natural to us? And how often do we feel like a hostage to others ideals and beliefs? Doing and not Being? How often do we really feel like we are the bird flying through the trees effortlessly and needlessly, being? Spend time in nature, disconnect from the feedlot, turn off the phone and TV and you may very well find the answers to these questions and many more.

Nature is beautiful there is no doubt about it. When we spend time in nature we instantly feel alive and connected. Every wondered why? Well we come from nature. We are nature. Its within all of us however we’ve been domesticated and separated from our natural source. We’ve been hearded and corralled into our own feedlots, separated by a fence or a wall from each other and from nature. We have boxed nature up into little strips between the concrete and asphalt. At night we close the doors and windows on nature. We hide from it when it is fierce and hot or scowly and cold. Why? Because it is uncomfortable and we have been conditioned to comfort. Yet whenever we spend time in it no matter the weather we have a story of significance to share about how wet and cold we got or how sunburnt and hot we got. Battle scars of our survival against nature.

So my point is this. We don’t survive against nature we thrive in its presence. We as a species thrive when our environment thrives and is healthy. We grow when nature is left to grow. It isn’t about our job title, the size of our houses or how much we are worth financially, nature doesn’t care for that. It’s superficial in natures presence. When you open yourself up to receive the beauty of a sunrise or sunset you instantly feel better, nothing else matters in that moment of beauty. The fresh air on your face as you wander through the forest and the crunch of the grass and sticks beneath your feet all add to the therapy of nature. The best way to nurture yourself is to be at one with nature. Sit in nature in quiet contemplation and ask it for the answers to your questions. Hug a tree, dance or walk barefoot on the dirt, get your hands dirty even for just 10 minutes. And you never know you might get a chance to peer into the private world of nature and be changed by the experience. Or better still you might find your true nature or even yourself. Go out and enjoy the moment!

What is possible?

IMG_2437As this is my first post here I will endeavor to keep it short and sweet, not one of my strong points as I can tend to ramble or even rant when something gets me all passionate and fiery. The basis for my setting up a blog is really to explore the world we interact with daily. We are told and shown by the example of others from a very early age what it means to be in this world (or reality as I like to describe it). So if we are told and shown everything, how much of it is really ours? How much of what we experience day to day is received and perceived from a place of neutrality? How much of the information we receive is actually beneficial to us and how much of this information is designed to unconsciously control or manipulate us? Now I’m pretty sure I don’t have all the answers however I’m going to explore all the little bits and pieces that make up my reality. And really, all of our life up till this point has been in-formation so it stands to reason that everything else from here on is in-formation. I’m not sure where all this will lead to actually one of my favorite sayings is “I do know that I don’t need to know and when I do need to know I will then know what I didn’t once know” I do know that it will be awe-full